Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Why do you want to get married?

Hey people,I trust you're doing great as usual.I am awesome as always and life is very beautiful.Meanwhile,i can't believe some people (they know themselves) are begging me to offend them so i'd write them poems.So if i've not offended you yet,please be patient,it will soon get to your turn.But i'm not promising a poem though.LOL

I got a broadcast on Blackberry some days back and it's what prompted this post.The BC talks about marriage and stuff.It mentioned some things that made sense.It submitted that some people get married for all the wrong reasons and I find this to be totally true.Don't you wonder why marriages don't last these days? It's all because many marriages were formed out of wrong reasons.Some people marry for looks,money,voice,status etc.The problem with these is that they are all liable to be lost.The beauty of most women tend to diminish when they get older.As for the guys,accident might cause their looks to one not so flashy,age even diminishes some of their looks too.So what happens when you realize the person you're married to isn't as beautiful or handsome as when you first met them? For those that get attached for money,it's even scarier.Money not well spent or invested gets lost faster than the blinking of eyes.Even if money is well invested,some other things might result to losing it for a long time or forever (we don't pray for this though).What happens then? Peradventure your spouse puts money into a business and the returns took way longer than expected.Or maybe you people encountered some spiritual issues that affected your finances,what happens then? For those that get married for status,does that last forever? Status changes for the better,no doubt.But have you also considered the fact that it also changes for the worse? Lots of past governors are nobody today.What happens when your spouse loses his or her status? There are things that are hardly ever lost though and these are love,friendship,morals,a good heart.If you marry for these and you're blessed to have status,money,looks,then those are bonuses,trust me.I don't know about anybody,but I'd rather get married to someone I love,who doubles as my friend,who has high moral standards and who has a very good heart.I'd rather my sister or friend get married to someone who is respectful and who has human sympathy and is living at average or below it than have them marry someone who's rich but who'd kill other people's spirits with their spiteful words or someone who's rich and feels he's the only one who has the right to be rich and thus doesn't lift a finger to be of assistance to anyone.I'd rather have someone who's comfortable and friendly marrying my friend or sister than someone who's rich and unfriendly.If you marry for the wrong reasons,you'd not even have the urge to fight when the marriage is facing challenges.But when you marry for the right reasons,the thought of losing the marriage is enough incentive for you to fight to make things work.Have a very nice day people.

58 comments:

  1. This is very true, though I don't have any problem with people getting married for the "wrong reasons". My problem is with the dishonesty. If you're marrying me for beauty, tell me you want to marry me for beauty and who knows I might be marrying you for money sef. LOL! Don't mind me.

    *Waiting to read comments*

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    1. I have a problem with both marrying for wrong reasons and dishonesty when it comes to reasons for marrying.Marrying for the wrong reasons is making marriage look cheap and ordinary.

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  2. People will continue to marry for thewrong reasons cos we are in the end times. But hey whatever it is lets tell ourselves some truth, love your piece.

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  3. This marriage thing na big problem. Its not easy journey to embark on. if you go in for the wrong reasons, you will come out just as quick

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  6. 2 thumbs up @ I don't know about anybody, but I'd rather get married to someone I love, who doubles as my friend, who has high moral standards and who has a very good heart.... May I add, one who is not afraid to truthfully get in your face when you do wrong. One who would rather have you in their lives with all your troubles, than not have you in their lives at all...

    Wrong reasons are not hard to find, not because love is blind, but people are too hasty...

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    1. I love this "Wrong reasons are not hard to find, not because love is blind, but people are too hasty...". Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. Good piece.
    This is one of the topics our parents, their parents and their parents all discussed when they were young. Our children will discuss it too but only few will marry for the right reasons. [A marriage counselor getting married for the 3rd time made me laugh]

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    1. A marriage counselor marrying for the third time? That really absurd!

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  8. Very valid point. All ties back to the whole 'love' issue. People who claim to be marrying for love, for the love of what though? For the love of his/her money, or for the love of him/her as a person? It might be hard to distinguish when you are blinded by the physical/material/trivial things. I think that's why those who fall in love when they are both still struggling tend to stay with each other longer

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    1. I agree with you on this " I think that's why those who fall in love when they are both still struggling tend to stay with each other longer".

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  9. ...you got marriage on your mind....

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  10. Marriage is good to enter only when one is ready to be real and honest, with themselves and with the other person. Some people say they don't understand what love is but I still think that is the best reason to get married :)

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    1. I agree with you Myne,love is the best reason to get married.

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  11. @Okeoghene: you got it right

    Truth is people will always get married for the wrong reasons.

    I was talking to a good friend and she said "Love is not a feeling, its a decision". And I totally agree with her. Its the decision that will hold the relationship/marriage after all the mushyness, beauty, wealth goes away.

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  12. long story short bro, all i see is the repetition of occurrences.. Buttom line,as humans we show our weaknesses in almost every area. U might think u are in the right relationship but hey your partner might have hidden agendas,so even if u are in the wrong marriage i believe if both parties want the good of it,they gonna make it work.. we live in an Era where the word LOVE has lost its meaning.. LOVE is Not Enough!

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    1. You have a point bro.You might be in the relationship for the right reasons while your partner is the for other reasons.

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  13. yes, yes, yes. love is abused now sef.
    asked somebody i know why she loves her boyfriend and it took her two minutes and a lot of "ermmms" to answer. i just told her to state the obvious, the guy is rich.
    thats recipe for a horrible marriage but wetin consign me?

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    1. Wow! That's very disturbing because it's the likes of her that'd have no qualms with jumping out of their marriage.

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  14. @9jagreat, If I marry someone foe his voice, I think the voice will be there for ever o. I can't think of anything that can make him lose it permanently.

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    1. Madam, haven't you heard of throat cancer? even normal throat injury is very harsh. Ask R Kelly.

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    2. I believe @ilola had answered your question.LOL

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    3. Throat injury can be treated. Life goes on o.

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    4. Not when you have a pipe inserted tho!

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  15. Is love enough?

    Marriage is supposed to be "till death do us part", if anyone ventures into it for the wrong reasons, there’s bound to be early exit.
    I remember a Pastor shared at a wedding ceremony that a wedding certificate doesn’t have an expiry date so couples shouldn’t always think of the way out of the marriage at every issue that rocks their boat.

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    1. Love itself isn't enough,but love and various other attributes are enough.Marriage doesn't have expiration and like you observed,marrying for the wrong reasons is why we have lots of broken marriages.

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  16. Gbam! Very well said

    But truth is people will keep marrying for the wrong reasons...money, beauty,fame...we are who we are,humans!! we don't learn easily joor. Lol

    I remember a friend said this to me a couple of days ago "love is not a feeling, it's a decision". I totally agree because when the face starts sagging, when the money flies out of the window, and the pet names turn to "mummy abc" from honey...its the decision that keep the marriage going.

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    1. I actually do not agree with your friend tho.Marriage is the decision,not love.love is a feeling and it's the feeling that warrants the decision,for some,to be married.

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    2. I disagree. Love is not a feeling. Love is kind, patient, longsuffering etc. Those are actions. So you have to decide to love. The feeling people often refer to as love is more of infatuation and lust.

      That being said, people should still marry for the right reasons, love being at the top of the list. My 2 cents.

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    3. We could actually debate this over and over,but i'll still maintain that love is a feeling.It is the feeling that make those actions possible.Haven't you heard of people who say they tried to love their partners but they just couldn't? Didn't they decide to? The reason they couldn't is simply because they weren't 'feeling/loving' so they couldn't stay.Haven't you heard of a situation where both partners were patient,kind and so on,yet still went their separate way? You can't decide to love,love crawls up on you because it's a feeling.You can't decide to love or not,just as you can't decide to be hungry or not.

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  17. Am also of the school of thought that says love is a decision.

    .....I want to get married so I'll have 3 cute mini-me's.....◦нê◦нë◦нê◦нë◦нê◦°◦

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    1. Hmmmmm,mini-you's huh?! Nicee! Well,i still maintain love is a feeling.

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  18. Many people have lost focus. They aren't sure what they want in/from their marriage so whatever looks appealing at a particular point in time is accepted by them.

    I pray we don't miss it.

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  19. You have said it all, i have nothing new to say. Reminds me of the post i read in Ladun's blog. It is all about LOVE, nothing more or less!

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  20. I agree with you!

    Sometimes Love is not enough. There is faith, Hope, believe!

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    1. Yeah.Love in itself isn't enough,but it's the highest ingredient needed in a relationship,mostly marriage.

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  21. For me, for whatever reason you got married, now you've made the commitment, make it work! I've met too many couples with all sorts of excuses why they're breaking up most of which are we married for the wrong reasons, well boohoo, you married, you've made children, now work at your relationship to give them a stable life, any marriage can work, some require more work than others.

    I've heard of a couple who claimed to marry for love but still now want a divorce, I don't know if it's more that people marry for the wrong reason or that our generation is a discard it if it's not working generation... just look at our grandparents who met their spouse on the wedding night, I'm not sure they'd have claimed they loved each other then yet they stay married for decades.

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    1. The people who claim to marry for love and still want a divorce actually lied.If there's anything I know,it is this; If you're in love,you'd do anything to stay in love.

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  22. a question of continuous debate..
    In India.. if one says "I don't want to"- God save him/her :D

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    1. Indeed it is Jyoti.It's been a long time we saw you.Welcome back!

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  23. Too many people get married for what they want instead of what they need.Many single people feel stuck living at home or alone. When a potential mate appears, they often leap at the opportunity to extricate themselves from their parents' home and get engaged. Often it doesn't matter to them if their potential mate is a good match because of their need to separate from their parents.

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