Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Don't be mad,be proud

I was chatting with a friend some days back and she sorta started complaining about people taking her to be a problem solver.She was mad because she said she wanted friends and not people who only remember she exists when they need her help.I was a bit surprised and didn't fail to let her know.I wondered why she would be mad about that when she was supposed to be happy.Are you wondering why i was thinking in that direction? You won't have to wonder much longer.

First of all,if people come to me only when they need my favor,i willingly help that out with whatever,as far as it doesn't cause me pain or i don't have to sacrifice.Sometimes,i even sacrifice and go ahead and help them out even if i'll feel a measure of pain.The reason is that it simply makes me a problem solver and thus one step ahead of them.Plus,it gives me the feeling of me whatever you like,i don't care.Hehehehehehehe Another reason why i don't mind such people at all is that they make it very clear that they're not friends.Friends don't come only when they need your help,they stick around at all times.Whether the going is good or bad,whether they need your help or not,they just stick around.So these people make it easy for you to know your friends.You are well aware that some people who pretend to be friends are indeed enemies,so why would i not be happy to have someone readily make me know he's not my friend?

If you usually have the same feeling my friend had,then here's your problem; you make people friends easily forgetting that friendship is a privilege and not a right.A privilege that the person who needs it will work to earn.For me,i know my friends and i also know those who think me their friend,those are two different things.I don't allow people into that friend-zone easily,i make them work hard for it and when they do get into that zone,they know why i don't allow people in easily.My advice? Don't allow people into your life easily,let them work for it.I'm not saying you shouldn't be friendly.By all means be friendly but cautious in making people your friends.Or,don't you agree with me?


  1. I think your friend feels like she's been used and taken advantage of, so she's tired of all that.
    People see things differently and that's how she sees it. She probably needs people that truly care about her, not just waka pass people.
    I put it to you, if you are being drained all the time and not being replenished, you are bound to get tired

  2. @@ilola: Trust me,i'm not one who's in search of friends,that is even what drains me,having too much friends.But if i have a handful and others are the ones that i help with their problems,i definitely won't mind.In fact,right now that is somehow the case with me and i definitely ain't complaining.But like you said,people see things differently.

  3. I see what your friend is saying, most times when you're the "problem solver" you hardly find anyone to solve your own problems. You make sacrifices which like you said could cause you pain but you don't get anything in return. We, humans, give to receive. When we give and we don't receive then it becomes a problem and that's when the complaint come in, because if the people your friend is complaining about solves her problems just the way she solves theirs, believe me you wouldn't hear her complain. Nobody likes a parasitic relationship.

  4. @Coy~Introvert: I understand your view,but my point is you shouldn't always want people to give back what you've given.To me,i think to the greatest of extent,you should be happy you're the problem solver and not the other way round.If you can get a handful of people to be there when you need them,what do you need a truckload of people for?

  5. ha! I know where ur friend is coming from... I felt like that early this year cos I started feeling overwhelmed by everyone making me their chief advisor... and some of the stories involved stories of others sooo I got really tired. It's not even about finding someone who will solve your problems... sometimes, u want fresh air, no bad news or work ourtside work, school or actual house work... and u wanna talk about random stuff and make jokes....

    so it's not even about feeling like people are taking you for granted or them not being friends sometimes, it's just a small little break......

    maybe it's cos I don't feel like I really need anyone to stay strong or go thru things.. I just feel like am fine alone so faar I have God but that's just me sha lol

    what I did: I kept away from people for a while (yes! selfish but I needed to be sane oh, lol) they all started asking were I was lol but am back now sha ... I love my girls either ways xx

  6. You know, I know this, but I just don't think it in my nature to operate that way. I make friends way too easily!...way too easily..*smh and sigh*
    Anyway, people need to realise that there is a distinction between friends and acquaintances. Those two terms are not as interchangeable as they are made to be!

  7. @Abi Tobi: It's a good thing the break helped you.

    @HoneyDame: Yeah,people need to realize the distinction between those to words and then they'd stop feeling bad about certain things.