Thursday, August 4, 2011

My annoying 3 weeks

Hhhhhheeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ppppppppeeeeeeeeoooooooooopppppppplllllllllleeeeeeee! I really,trully,sincerely,unashamedly,plentifully miss you guys.Check it out na,if i didn't miss you guys would i use all those big big grammar just to express my missing you? By the way,forget dictionary,as far as you understand where i'm going to,it doesn't matter what the grammar says.*winks*

It really feels so good to be back after over 3 weeks.By the way,the 3 weeks happen to be the most annoying of my life time.I was always counting the days because i couldn't just wait to get the hell out of that damn place.For those of you who don't know,i was away for the compulsory  3-weeks orientation camp for youth service which in my own opinion is a terrible waste of both time and resources of both the federal government and the corps members.I know you're itching to hear how the camp went,so sit back and maybe grab a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of chilled coke,you're about to go into my crazy,annoying 3 weeks.

The first week were the worse weeks of my life.I got into the camp and realized all the things people were saying about camp being fun and all is very bogus.Or maybe the state i did it is just wack or maybe it's my psyche that affected the whole camp experience.I actually didn't wanna go and somehow knew i wasn't going to have fun or enjoy myself in anyway.I arrived camp,getting a bed space was an issue and eventually when i got,it was in a useless hall.The guys in the hall were savages,i mean real barbarians.I bought a bucket and after a few days it disappeared and i bought another only for the bucket to reappear (but while i was leaving i didn't even see any).

I made a few friends when i got to camp,even though i didn't plan to.I met some cool dudes and babes who later became my click on camp.We were always together and called when one person is missing from the 'herd'.Amongst these friends was a gurl we called Blacky.This gurl is a terrorist.I mean she molests guys (playfully though) and even extended to the army men on camp.Everybody tire for the gurl sef.I kinda got more attention from her cos she liked me so much while i remained indifferent,even when she kissed me on my lips (or peck,call am wetin you like).She and the other gurl said they liked me because i am mature...i get that alot i guess (blowing my trumpet abi? LOL).

The food they shared in camp was pure trash.I mean prison food and i'm not exaggerating.The rice is always confused,it didn't know whether it wanted to be jollof or white.The fish and meat were so tiny you sometimes don't even see them,the tea was more of lipton than milk,the soups...well,don't get me started.I was always eating in the market on camp they called Mammy markek.But then the worse happened,my money finished after two weeks,damn! I was always taking one or two bottles of start after dinner each day and so when my money finished,i wasn't surprised.I wasn't worried at all initially until i my request for exit to go and use the ATM was declined.Immediately i started imagining the suffer that'll follow.I imagined the long queues to get confused rice or any other food.I started making mental calculations...who go borrow me money? Well,eventually i had to just mange and join the #teamsuffering and did all they did.Each time they prepared what i don't eat,i sue the little money on me to buy food from mammy.But my suffering was short lived as our monthly allowance from federal government was paid,i was the happiest guy alive.

I'm sure some gurls would hate me,but who cares? I didn't even look at one and i'm not kidding.Even the ones who were trying to make themselves noticed were still ignored.They would definitely be dissing me when they're in their hostels,but i no care jare.Once a gurl casually asked me why i wasn't hunting and i told her i wasn't just feeling like it (that was the plain truth).She had on this "Huh?!" look that made me smile.

This is another part of camp i hated.They usually woke us up by 4am for i in lagos? If you never bath by then,you go go parade like that.The useless hostel i was assigned to had barbarians like i said before.Other hostels wait for the army men to come wake them up,but my hostel were the ones who wake the army men up.They wake up sometimes before 3am or by 3am and wit the noise they make,you can't help but wake up also.When we're on parade ground,it doesn't matter whether the heavens is releasing brimstone,you stayed and get killed by it.Whether its raining  or the sun is very scorching,you're expected to stay there.Once we were on parade ground and it started raining heavily,lots of peeps ran back to their hostels and the camp commandant was still standing.I don't know what made me linger,but i remained in the rain with countless other peeps.The commandant ordered for those people to be brought back to parade ground.When they came back,he made sure they were separated from us and then he ordered all of them to sit on the muddy ground with their white shorts and tees.All these were going on under the rain.The he selected some people (still don't know what they did) and ordered that muddy water be poured on them from head to toe.I ain't kidding! That was a another day i was very furious,i mean i could barely hold my anger.One of the persons they poured water on was a gurl and she fainted (or at least she made us believe so) and after she wasn't moving,a corper decided to go and try to take her to the hospital,that was his crime.He was bathed times two with muddy water and given special punishments.How the hell does one enjoy such barbaric act?!

I didn't have fun,i'll still reiterate it,but i had something close to it and that was when i decided to get involved in the camp activities.I got involved in the drama group of my platoon and got a leading role as an old man.I also got involved in the cultural dance as one of the instrumentalist,i played the gong and i enjoyed every bit of it.I also did some kitchen activities which was also fun in its own way.

Generally,the experience was purely exasperating and frustrating.I was once asked to sit on the floor,lemme rephrase that,on muddy water with my white shorts and tees.How could i possibly enjoy that? I didn't enjoy it but i don do am finish and now i'm back for good.Immediately i got back home,i ate a very good meal,slept on a very comfortable bed and wasn't disturbed at 4am.It felt soooooo good to be home! It was because of you guys that i took these few pictures so feed your eyes because i resolved not to capture any of the unwanted moments.Enjoy!

Man 'O War activity 2

With my platoon members

Drama group of my platoon

Man 'O War activity
Drama performance

Striking a pose


  1. LOL at this whole thing. Im still laughing in my head as i type this comment. Well like i said before, glad ur back and ur not allowed to leave for that length of time ever again!!

    Serious giggles at the pics :P

  2. Laugh all you want and pray never to come to national youth service corps orientation camp.LOL What's wit the pix that you're giggling on about? I'll try not to go away for that long and yes,i missed you too! LOL

  3. eeeyahhhh...sorry ooo.nothing like bad food to ruin everything. Pele.
    You don't look like you are suffering too much in the photos sha, keep pushing on!!

  4. i've been waiting for this post all d while, n i loved it n for those pictures, i'll zip my mouth

  5. LOL @ confused rice..hahahha at the meat

    welcome back..this nysc nawa oh

  6. camp is really exciting....i remember when I did mine

  7. I'm sure you arent expecting me to say sorry... You already know my take on the pics so, moving on.... Whether its confused rice or mini meat size the good thing you've gone through it all and you' re back in one piece.

    But errr, are you sure you've told us everything about the girls?

  8. loool! I dread those camps! and I am NOT going! where did you serve?

    but wait did u go to boarding school?? am just curious hehe

    Eyah pele, hope u were not too too snobby tho :$ .. re u sure u did not even a bit feel the "blacky" babe? ;)

    good to have u back on blogsville

  9. Wow! those photos brought back some nostalgic feelings of youth service some 7-8 years ago. Despite the 'sufferings', learn to take away the positives if you can.

    I remember those early morning trumpet sounds, endless parades, jogging, mountain climbing,which all took their toll on me physically. But I went away with a sense of pride that at least I proved to myself that I could do all that was thrown at me despite the difficulties.

    Use the experience to motivate yourself if at all you needed one

  10. NYSC! The rice is always confused and you dare call that dry tiny thing fish/meat? Thank God they didnt steal you boots or whites, those ones worsep ass bucket.Are you sure you didnt enjoy the girls? It is good that you had pictures taken even though you didnt have so much fun. And the pictures are nice

  11. Hahahahaha @ the food, say what? wow, nice pictures, NYSC mehn, parade at 4am, when a sister is still trying to sleep at 2am. I'm sure the experience was worth it.

  12. @9jaFOODie: I didn't exactly suffer sha cos i went with enough money that i somehow managed to squander.

    @ChizyK: You're all zipping your mouths even after you made me take pictures? I'm deleting this post.LOL

    @Unveillinggold: Thanks alot dear.

    @Sisi Yemmie: Yours was interesting,mine wasn't.Maybe i made it so sha.

    @P.E.T Projects: I said all there is to say about the gurls,true story!

    @Abi Tobi: I served in Rivers State and no,i didn't go to boarding school.Yeah,good to be back on blogsville,i missed it.

    @Naija4Life: Hmmmm,7-8 years ago? That was a long time o.Wish i did mine then though.

    @Okeoghene: I was lucky to be allocated a hostel where they didn't steal,but they did things almost as annoying as stealing.

    @Coy~Introvert: Hahahahaha! Don't worry,when the time comes you'll adjust.

  13. kai well done o...nice pictures

  14. Oga, please take it easy o. That is why it is called a military camp naa.

    Me, I had fun when I served o. I hated it the first day but as soon as I got a bed, the fun started for me. I loved matching, I didn't spend one naira on food, cos I ate the rubbish camp food, I was all for the experience.

    The only thing I did not like was waking up early, but all in all I loooovvvveeeed camp. will you sue me for that? After camp ended, I wasn't even eager to leave. I was like 'Ahn aahhnn, so soon?' lol. And I didn't have any camp boyfriend o. I guess it is because, I am what you call an adapter
    As for where I served, I served in Benue state. So, where did you serve?

  15. @ilola: Nah,i'm not gonna sue you for enjoying camp.Like i said,maybe i didn't enjoy it because i actually left my house with the mind that i wasn't going to enjoy camp,i stamped that in my psyche.I served in Rivers state.