Friday, August 26, 2011

Letter to my heart

Dear Heart,

I really don't know what's up with you these days,but i want to believe you're good.Sincerely i don't understand you at all these days,what really is up with you? You have put us in serious pains and we really should be very mad at you.There are times when you should've just allowed the head to take some decisions,but you just end up taking em and putting us all into serious pains and confusion.Ok,i know you've not been getting too involved,but the few times you've gotten involved,it had been to the extreme.Remember the first crush you ever had? Our friend's cousin? Yeah,i know she was a fox,but you just wouldn't let the head be.You kept on thinking about her and bothering some other parts of us in the process.Geez,you really can be persistent.Thank goodness you didn't take it too hard when she didn't agree to be with us.Remember that cutie back in the university who we actually toasted for almost a session before she agreed to date us? You got too attached to her and when it ended we all suffered it.Finally on the list,remember the trauma we passed through all cause you finally fell for our best friend of a decade? Remember the tears you had to make the eyes cry? The pain the chest felt all through that period? Yes,i know you suffered a great deal of pain,but who's to blame? You know what really pissed me off that period? You didn't allow us sleep because you connived with the head to think non-stop and this made it impossible for the eyes to close in sleep.Another annoying thing that period was that you didn't allow us eat.The mouth also supported you by refusing to take anything in to see whether the stomach would process it.Anyway,i'm glad all that is now over,but it still doesn't mean i get you.

I know you've still not grasped the reason behind this sudden letter to you,but you will in a bit.WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? In all the years we've been together you've only allowed a handful of people in.In fact,you've only allowed 2 people in and i wonder why that is so.All the other foxes we've had to show our toasting skills to and were involved with us never had the opportunity of being welcomed by you,why the hell is it so? Why won't you just accept people? Right now,it's as though you're not even there or is it that you've not yet seen anyone you dig? We're trying to get you someone you'd like,but you don't seem to be interested.Does this have anything to do with the last disaster? If it does,please forget about it because even you know it happens.You can still allow someone in,someone who we'd all approve of.Someone who'll be worth it and trust me there are alot of them out there.You've even come across a few,why not let them in? I'm saying all these because we're getting too old for the 'chasing' game,we need to settle down.Do you remember how you felt when you allowed those 2 in? Didn't you enjoy the feeling? Won't you like to have those feelings again? If you would,then please allow someone in,we all need it.Don't tell me you are considering what Moheezy said "My heart,your job is to pump blood,if you go and fall in love,it's your problem o",i don't share such sentiment with him.I believe the perfect person is out there,please don't chase her away when she comes along.

Thank you in anticipation of your co-operation of this matter.

Yours lovingly,
The Entire Body

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If i don't comment on your blog,it's likely your fault

Blogsville is a very lovely place.You get to meet people of different beliefs and ideas and inhibitions and what have you.The beautiful thing about it is that we live like a family,showing care and concern through comments that are in the forms of encouragements,criticisms and the likes.The way it works is if you visit my blog,i'll visit yours...if you comment on my blog,i'll comment on yours.Yeah,that's how it works,people tend to reciprocate your attitude towards their blogs.

However,sometimes people visit blogs and leave without leaving any comment,not because they don't feel like it,but because the blog owner make it too difficult to do so.I mean,why will i have to waste my time re-writing a group of letters just to post a comment up on your blog? The one that is even more frustrating is this new 'Disqus'.I just noticed it this few days and trust me,it's extremely annoying.Lots of times i visit cool blogs and after reading try dropping comments but end up leaving with my comments stuck on the tip of my fingers...Log in with twitter,then when you click a new window pops up and you wait for it to load,in Nigeria network speed is almost a mirage.After it loads,sometime it still takes you back to the same place you were.Abeg tell me,what will you have me do when this happens? I mean,there are other good blogs where comments need to be left.I know you're trying to make your blog all beautiful and all,but you don't need to make it difficult for your visitors to drop comments.If you ever read one of Myne Whitman's blog post about improving your blog,you'd see she dissuaded bloggers from using Word Verification and personally i do too because it is plain annoying.If you missed the post,here it is,you'll find it really resourceful I want more comments.

So if you're wondering why i don't drop comments on your blog often while you do on my blog,well,wonder no more.I look forward to seeing changes and you'll notice changes in my dropping comments on your blog too.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011



The rain is beating on my window
I can see grains of sand jumping
Not in excitement
But because they're compelled by large drops of rain
Lifting them slightly into space and allowing them drop on their own
Above my head is a different thing
The roof is a big drum
The large droplets of rain are the drumsticks
I am standing in front of my window
Not because I was enjoying the view
But because the ambience reminds me of your presence
I can almost feel your hand around me
I can almost see you looking up from behind me
With that angelic smile across your face
Your presence is felt everywhere
And the rain just made it more obvious
I almost turned around to hold you
Cos I felt that warmth I feel when your body touches mine
I was tempted to look towards the bed
Hoping to see you laying there
Staring beautifully at me with that perfect smile on
But when I did
The emptiness engulfed me
I continued my prompted stare outside my window
And quickly drifted away into reverie
Knowing you're there waiting for me
It was no wonder I didn't realize the grains of sand had regained control of them selves
The water from heaven had ceased
I just walked to the bed
Laid down and let sleep take me away
I miss you on another rainy day
…la vita e bella

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Don't be mad,step up your game

Game,game,game.I have seen guys fight over a gurl and i have seen gurls fight over a guy.But seriously,are they sick in the head or what? A gurl leaves you for another guy and you go in search of the guy and make public show of your stupidity by fighting (what i call 'throw blow'...hehehehe) with him.I have witnessed gurls fight to the extent of tearing their clothes off their bodies,chei,see stupidity abeg.Sometimes they don't go that far (whether na fear or something else,i no know) but they settle with exchanging words and thereby unveiling secrets which sometimes tarnishes their images.Abeg,how these sets of people dey think sef?

Guys and gurl have always been effed up and very unreasonable.Breakups didn't start now,it started wayyyyyyyyyyyy before our fore-fathers were born.So why would you want to condescend so low as to fighting over a gurl or a guy? I've witnessed situations where gurls fight over a guy and he ends up leaving the two of them completely.Here's the funny truth,gurls take other gurls' boyfriends while guys take other guys' gurlfriends.If this has happened to you,you're not the first and you're not gonna be the last so get over it.By "get over it" i don't mean break heads and feel good about yourself,i mean you should dust your self up and move on,you owe it to yourself.

You know,there's this thing i used to say; They've taken my gurlfriends,i've take other guys' gurlfriends,so it's not new.Here's what you should do if someone takes your gurlfriend/boyfriend; Step up your game.Yes,step up your game.Some guys lose their gurlfriends to guys whose games are doper and so also some gurls lose their boyfriends to some other gurls whose games are tighter.It's all about games people.Calling games,buying-gifts games,spending-time games,caring games, etc.It's just all about games,so make sure your general game is tight or you might lose that special someone to someone whose game is tighter.Have a nice day people.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Love is not that easy

Hey people,i believe your week started well.Well,for me it started with running around and i'm still not done with the running around.This is the reason i was trying all i could just so i'll skip this compulsory youth service.Anyways,that's not the issue at hand.

You see,this thing called love is very crazy,funny,serious...i could go on and on,but one thing is sure it is greatly MISUNDERSTOOD! Yes,love is almost often misunderstood.I mean,people just attach various nonsense to it.For instance,a badt boy would claim to be in love with a gurl when all he wants is to hit it.Also,a gurl would claim to be in love with a guy when all she wants is to grab as much as she can from him and the bolt.I've actually witnessed and experienced alot in this boy-gurl game,alot to even write a book.The reason why love is a topic today is because i just unconsciously started reminiscing about some past events and i kinda realized the funny things that happen all in the name of love.Lies and deceits have all gone down all in the name of love.The main issue is that gurls have opened themselves up to lies and deceit,thereby making themselves susceptible to hurt.This is because they are the more emotional ones between males and females.

Women believe in love and fairy tales (well,i also do but from a different perspective).They believe love can come easy and thus act on that belief,but this isn't always the case.For love to happen,there has to be a little bit of work.I mean,commitment in terms of time and feelings and what have you.Without this,what you have is pure lust,nothing more! In those days when i used to be badt (i'm not saying i'm a saint now,but i'm saying i know better),i remember some gurls who almost made me laugh during serious business,i mean that time that men experience serious vibration like Nokia 3310...hehehehehehe! Ok,here's how it is; After dating for a few days,we get to my house and after chatting a while,i make advances that are welcomed.After undressing and trying to do the do,they stop me and ask "Do you love me?".For the sake of mike,what do you think? "Of course i love you" and in my mind i'm like "lemme just hit that!" My answer isn't even directed at her,but at you-know-what.What? So now you wanna judge me? Abeg leave me jare,i'm just being real as usual! How can you ask such a question in the heat of the moment and expect a real answer? Try asking the question before even the kiss,or better still,ask the question after you guys have been together for a few weeks,or even months.Sometimes the question come just 2 or 3 days into dating.Ah! Abeg na so e easy?! Love that lasts takes time to build,it takes time to grow,it takes time to mature and it takes time to break.The ones that happen in a jiffy end just as fast.Don't get me wrong though,i'm not saying love doesn't happen in very amazing ways,it does,but it's not common place.Have a nice day people!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

...if you promise to marry me

I was chatting with one of my friends who is in Abuja and the statement he made as regards our discussion made me laugh real hard.In his own words "I'm not going to say anything about this issue because it's like you guys did something you're not telling me".I know you're confused,but soon enough your confusion will be lifted.

I'd been going on and on about my ex who was always on my case.I stopped updating you guys about her because sincerely i was tired of telling you guys about her and how she won't just let me be.Well,the truth is she never stopped disturbing me.I handled the situation in the best way i possibly could...i ignored her all the time.However,something happened a few days back that i couldn't really ignore.I was just on my own,minding my business as usual and working to make money when my phone beeped.I checked to see whose sms came in only to see her number.I deleted her number,but my obviously over-working brain had stored it and bluntly refused deleting it and freeing some memory space for other important thing or number.Anyway,i opened the sms and here's what it reads;

"You really should pick your calls or one of these days very important news will pass you by.Anyway,tomorrow is the day i sign the papers that declare me single again.But i keep wondering what's the use? The only reason i want to be single hates me"

I wasn't stunned or anything,i sent her a reply telling her to sign it but she shouldn't ask me why.She responded by asking why she shouldn't ask why,i replied and told her to not to sign it and that she should leave me the hell alone.After a few sms exchange,the next sms that came in was the shocker,here it is;

"If you promise to marry me,i'll sign those papers tomorrow"

At this point,i was blinded with rage.WTF?! I replied her by asking her if i looked like a fool.The sms exchange continued a while,but those were the really important ones.Back to my friend's statement,i laughed really hard but also asked myself what she saw in me that won't let her just leave me alone.I mean,she never stopped bugging me.She called incessantly,i ignore every bit of the calls,she sends sms,i don't reply any and yet she just won't back off.I mean,what the hell is wrong with her? Or better still,what the hell is wrong with me that i can't even repel this gurl? I can't repel any gurl,but it's always not as bad as this.The reason why she went through with the marriage is fulfilled and so she's getting a divorce but wants me back.It is very bad now because if she decides to go about it the way she usually does,i won't even have anybody to report her to.Right now,she can decide to pester my life and the big question i keep asking myself is,what the hell will i don when that happens?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Lack wisdom? Here's a gun,use it!

Lovely morning to you,i trust your weekend was splendid? My weekend was a quiet one,didn't go out for fun,but sure went out for work...i know,but i need the money...hehehehehehe.I can still feel the backache.I mean,i was caught up in traffic for hours and it wasn't funny.If i wasn't the one driving,i'd have just left the car on one side of the road and trekked.Anyway,my weekend was spent indoors when i wasn't working and i spent it with Two And A Half Men keeping me company.It's actually a very good recommendation for those of you who dig comedies.But this post isn't about my weekend so i'm just going to get right on to it.

You know,i used to wonder if there were people who live life without wisdom but the good thing about life is you don't have to wonder for so long,it surprises you.Life actually unveiled that wisdom isn't so common place as many would like to think.Wisdom is very imperative,but yet many lack it.They simply live through life without realizing there's such a thing as wisdom.I mean,why else would someone talk to you about an issue and you'd have that look on your face that says "Seriously?!".The way people handle issues will reveal to you whether they are void of wisdom or are filled with it.Normally,life is "action generates reaction".But the reactions that come as a result of actions are very insightful in terms of a persons level of intelligence.The way a person acts or talks also tells you whether the person is filled with wisdom or simply lacks it.You wanna know why wisdom is important? I'll tell you out-rightly! It is wisdom that makes you know that people are of different character and temperament and so should be treated differently.It is wisdom that tells you you don't take pride in feeding off your parents when you're 40...gosh,you should just jump back into your mother's belly,it'd make more sense.It is wisdom that tell you you dare not be lazy but hardworking.It is wisdom that tells you you don't have to generalize simply because a particular thing or race or group wronged you.I really could go on and on,but i'm sure you get the picture now...but if you don't,here's a gun,use it! I don't know if you've ever come in contact with someone everybody considers a fool.I mean,he talks even when no one is listening.He lies even when everyone knows he's lying.You know,the type that claims he has cars and every single day you see him trekking.

Ok,i know you're wondering where this wisdom talks came from.Well,i've actually been fortunate to meet people that made me appreciate the little level of wisdom i was bestowed with.I know someone who thinks it is compulsory for the person who's successful in the family to make every one in the family successful.Get that i used 'Compulsory'.I mean,what kind of shallow thinking is that? It is wisdom that tells you it is all man for himself and so you don't depend on anyone but yourself,but if help comes...good radiance.I know the next thing i am going to say is going to generate criticisms,but i'll say it anyway.I've been fortunate also to come in contact with people who decide to change their sexual orientation simply because they were hurt a few times.I mean,is that even legal?! Meanwhile,wisdom makes you understand that everything in life is all about battles and you don't always win.I've come in contact with people who always get into trouble because they just can't shut the hell up.You know what? I think wisdom is overly underrated.It's enormous importance has not been really comprehended.This is why people make such blunders that just put you in awe,and i don't mean that in a good way!

Life is very complicated,yet very actually need wisdom to understand that.Life isn't what you think it is,life's way more than meets the eyes.If you don't have wisdom and you feel you're very ok,please take a gun and just shoot yourself,this world would be way better off without you.I'm not kidding! Have a nice day people and pleasant week ahead.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Do it anyway!

Hey peeps! Did i just hear someone say "He's back"? You're right,i am back and this time i don't see me going anywhere for a very long time.You know how i like to o it nau? Straight talk and no bull ish! Legoooooooooooo!

I really get very bewildered when people get scared of doing things.The most shocking of all is when they don't even have anything to lose.It is very rare for you to do something that'll actually make you lose something.Most of the time we just fail to see the big picture,we allow ourselves to be myopic.I have been a victim of this a million times (you do realize that's a figure of speech,don't you? LOL).Remember my evil Ex? Well,i chickened out at a point when i could've professed my love for her and ended up not dating her till after over 8years.That was just one place when i was victimized by my very own self.Another aspect borders on career.I had always loved architecture,but i had series of fears which were mostly financial and ended up not applying to be an architecture student.Till today i still get thrilled by architecture...the world architectural master pieces are just an awe to me.I mean check out the Twin Tower in the United State,Burj Al Arab in the United Arab Emirate,these are just mentioning a few.Oh well,so much for a chicken right?!

Fear is always the reason why we decide not to indulge our interest or passions etc.Yes,as humans it is allowed,we are allowed to feel fear.But have you considered the things you've lost all because of fear? Have you stopped to consider the satisfaction that you've lost all in the name of fear? The annoying thing is that some of the fears are baseless.Sometimes we have absolutely no reason to even fear,but we still just let it spoil things anyway.Here's what i've started doing,do it first and worry about the result later.How does that sound? Hey,hey,hey...this might actually sound very stupid o,depending on the situation.But i know you all are a brilliant lot sha so no wahala.Before somebody go say "But i took your advice na"...hehehehehehehe! So here's the deal,if you wanna do stuff but you're scared,do it anyway.If you wanna toast a gurl or a guy but you're scared of rejection,do it anyway.If you wanna buy something you consider important but you feel you might need the money,buy it anyway...who knows,you might never see that thing again.But if that thing na Blackberry phone,abeg live am,you go definitely see am again.#imjustsaying.For those of you who already are doing this act-first-consider-later,you would agree that it has immense advantages lots of times.Don't get me wrong however,you may not always be right or make the right decisions,but consider this nau,has fear helped you to always make right decisions? So you see,you really have nothing to lose.Have a very pleasant day people!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My annoying 3 weeks

Hhhhhheeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ppppppppeeeeeeeeoooooooooopppppppplllllllllleeeeeeee! I really,trully,sincerely,unashamedly,plentifully miss you guys.Check it out na,if i didn't miss you guys would i use all those big big grammar just to express my missing you? By the way,forget dictionary,as far as you understand where i'm going to,it doesn't matter what the grammar says.*winks*

It really feels so good to be back after over 3 weeks.By the way,the 3 weeks happen to be the most annoying of my life time.I was always counting the days because i couldn't just wait to get the hell out of that damn place.For those of you who don't know,i was away for the compulsory  3-weeks orientation camp for youth service which in my own opinion is a terrible waste of both time and resources of both the federal government and the corps members.I know you're itching to hear how the camp went,so sit back and maybe grab a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of chilled coke,you're about to go into my crazy,annoying 3 weeks.

The first week were the worse weeks of my life.I got into the camp and realized all the things people were saying about camp being fun and all is very bogus.Or maybe the state i did it is just wack or maybe it's my psyche that affected the whole camp experience.I actually didn't wanna go and somehow knew i wasn't going to have fun or enjoy myself in anyway.I arrived camp,getting a bed space was an issue and eventually when i got,it was in a useless hall.The guys in the hall were savages,i mean real barbarians.I bought a bucket and after a few days it disappeared and i bought another only for the bucket to reappear (but while i was leaving i didn't even see any).

I made a few friends when i got to camp,even though i didn't plan to.I met some cool dudes and babes who later became my click on camp.We were always together and called when one person is missing from the 'herd'.Amongst these friends was a gurl we called Blacky.This gurl is a terrorist.I mean she molests guys (playfully though) and even extended to the army men on camp.Everybody tire for the gurl sef.I kinda got more attention from her cos she liked me so much while i remained indifferent,even when she kissed me on my lips (or peck,call am wetin you like).She and the other gurl said they liked me because i am mature...i get that alot i guess (blowing my trumpet abi? LOL).

The food they shared in camp was pure trash.I mean prison food and i'm not exaggerating.The rice is always confused,it didn't know whether it wanted to be jollof or white.The fish and meat were so tiny you sometimes don't even see them,the tea was more of lipton than milk,the soups...well,don't get me started.I was always eating in the market on camp they called Mammy markek.But then the worse happened,my money finished after two weeks,damn! I was always taking one or two bottles of start after dinner each day and so when my money finished,i wasn't surprised.I wasn't worried at all initially until i my request for exit to go and use the ATM was declined.Immediately i started imagining the suffer that'll follow.I imagined the long queues to get confused rice or any other food.I started making mental calculations...who go borrow me money? Well,eventually i had to just mange and join the #teamsuffering and did all they did.Each time they prepared what i don't eat,i sue the little money on me to buy food from mammy.But my suffering was short lived as our monthly allowance from federal government was paid,i was the happiest guy alive.

I'm sure some gurls would hate me,but who cares? I didn't even look at one and i'm not kidding.Even the ones who were trying to make themselves noticed were still ignored.They would definitely be dissing me when they're in their hostels,but i no care jare.Once a gurl casually asked me why i wasn't hunting and i told her i wasn't just feeling like it (that was the plain truth).She had on this "Huh?!" look that made me smile.

This is another part of camp i hated.They usually woke us up by 4am for i in lagos? If you never bath by then,you go go parade like that.The useless hostel i was assigned to had barbarians like i said before.Other hostels wait for the army men to come wake them up,but my hostel were the ones who wake the army men up.They wake up sometimes before 3am or by 3am and wit the noise they make,you can't help but wake up also.When we're on parade ground,it doesn't matter whether the heavens is releasing brimstone,you stayed and get killed by it.Whether its raining  or the sun is very scorching,you're expected to stay there.Once we were on parade ground and it started raining heavily,lots of peeps ran back to their hostels and the camp commandant was still standing.I don't know what made me linger,but i remained in the rain with countless other peeps.The commandant ordered for those people to be brought back to parade ground.When they came back,he made sure they were separated from us and then he ordered all of them to sit on the muddy ground with their white shorts and tees.All these were going on under the rain.The he selected some people (still don't know what they did) and ordered that muddy water be poured on them from head to toe.I ain't kidding! That was a another day i was very furious,i mean i could barely hold my anger.One of the persons they poured water on was a gurl and she fainted (or at least she made us believe so) and after she wasn't moving,a corper decided to go and try to take her to the hospital,that was his crime.He was bathed times two with muddy water and given special punishments.How the hell does one enjoy such barbaric act?!

I didn't have fun,i'll still reiterate it,but i had something close to it and that was when i decided to get involved in the camp activities.I got involved in the drama group of my platoon and got a leading role as an old man.I also got involved in the cultural dance as one of the instrumentalist,i played the gong and i enjoyed every bit of it.I also did some kitchen activities which was also fun in its own way.

Generally,the experience was purely exasperating and frustrating.I was once asked to sit on the floor,lemme rephrase that,on muddy water with my white shorts and tees.How could i possibly enjoy that? I didn't enjoy it but i don do am finish and now i'm back for good.Immediately i got back home,i ate a very good meal,slept on a very comfortable bed and wasn't disturbed at 4am.It felt soooooo good to be home! It was because of you guys that i took these few pictures so feed your eyes because i resolved not to capture any of the unwanted moments.Enjoy!

Man 'O War activity 2

With my platoon members

Drama group of my platoon

Man 'O War activity
Drama performance

Striking a pose