Thursday, May 19, 2011

You want respect? Respect yourself first

I think one of the things i learnt first as a kid was "Charity begins at home".Meaning you should take care of things around you before you consider taking care of other things.I know this doesn't relate to the topic,but in a way it does.Many people are chattering about how they are not respected and so on and so on,meanwhile they are the main problem.The way some people live their lives are so very down-grading.They don't realize that the importance you place on yourself is the importance people will place on you.They don't respect themselves and yet want people to respect them.There's this man working as a driver for the other company in thesame building as the company i work with,he is a good definition of disrespect to self.He's rarely sober at one point,and his sight alone is just annoying.He's talking to you and his breath is reeking of cheap alcohol at 9 or 10 in the morning.It got so annoying the day he came to me to ask me for money,obviously for a smoke or cheap booze.First off,his manner of approach was so very irritating..."Come,give me ...naira".No good morning or how you dey or anything.It was as if he gave me some money to keep for him.From that day on,he became very obnoxious in my sight.I see little gurls talk to him with serious disrespect and the day i heard he has grown up children,my heart got broken even more.I mean,he's like a little boy before the eyes of people around,they talk to him with impudence.

I know you might be tempted to say it's because he's not rich or that he's a driver and people don't give respect to such persons,but permit me to say it's not true.His colleague...i mean his fellow driver working in thesame company as reasonable and about thesame age as him.He respects himself and is respected by everyone.When it comes to respect,it is true that lots of times money plays a very huge role,but that has to do with serious issues and maybe family.But when it comes to your neighborhood or work place,money doesn't cut it.You have to respect yourself for people to respect you.Even in the family,respecting yourself gives you a very great level of respect.Even if you are not given the right to make certain decisions because you're not wealthy,they still don't disrespect you.

Furthermore,some women cry about respect when in the actual sense they can't even earn it.I mean,you can openly sleep with a circle of friends and want to be respected.You can't earn respect when you call yourself a bitch or party from friday to friday...that is definitely not respecting yourself.You definitely can't expect to be respected when you allow different guys tap your ass all in the name of 'playing'.The way you relate is the way people relate with you.I particularly have interest in this because lots of women claim they're not respected.Well,there are a number of reasons why that is so,lemme be a nice 9ja-great and list a few of those;

1.You depend on various men to live...then you're their property.

2.You call yourself a definitely would be treated as such.

3.You sleep with a circle of're their play thing.

4.Your idea of fun is regular sleeping around with random men...well,this is the much respect you get...NOTHING!

5.You party on a obviously are unserious so no one will take you serious.

I think i've said enough already,by now you should've gotten the picture.Have a nice day people and please self respect is your gateway to being respected by other people.


  1. Its true, gotta respect yourself if you expect anyone else to respect you. Nice post and good points but i wouldn't be me if i did not offer my counterpoints, at least about the list :)

    1. agree 100%
    2. agree- i can't stand the word and don't see why people use it even in a friendly way.
    3. gray area. Depends on how the woman is carrying herself in these sexual relationships. Honestly, if she is sleeping with Jim, Joe, Bob, and Dave because thats what SHE wants to do, then i tip my hat to her because those men are her playthings. Now, if she is just letting herself be passed around then yeah, thats some straight up ashawo/agaracha/akwuna behavior.
    4. Again, gray area for the exact same reason as #3
    5. There's nothing wrong with partying as long as you are functional lol. If you are out shakin what ya mama gave ya all night but still get up fresh and alert and ready to work in the morning, i cannot knock your hustle. There are plenty of ppl that put off their partying till only the weekend that i have no respect for.

  2. @LadyNgo: My very own LadyNgo,yankee ti ba e je! Hehehehehe
    Actually,i agree with you,but that should be in the oversea's perspective,but here in Nigeria,it's different.If you are the type in nos. 2,3 and 4 then you really are a play thing,not the guy's.Meanwhile in no.5,i was referring to those who do not have anything doing but partying on a daily.Thanks as usual for your contribution though,you're appreciated.*wink*

  3. LOL, i was going to preface it with that this was my own feminist/western mindset but i knew u'd understand what i meant lol

  4. I'ld disagree with LadyNgo. Irrespective of what part of the world you live in, partying/clubing 24/7 is irresponsible except offcourse you're a party planner/club owner or make your living outta there!

    Let's be honest, there's no way you'll party all night, everyday and be alert/productive in a 9-5 job. The human body is designed to crave work, food, rest, relaxation in certain proportions!

    As regards respect, basically your ACTIONS determines peoples REACTIONS to you. So if you choose to be Bree (desperate housewives) or erratic Ally McBeal, people would deal with you on that level. But when you show yourself as disciplined, people would respect you!

  5. @P.E.T Projects: Nice perspective.I like the angle you're looking at it from!

  6. lol, i love coming to this blog to hear u preach :p
    I agree with you, u cnt behave in a certain manner and xpect to be treated with respect. At the same time, i dnt feel anyone shld be treated shabbily so jst cos a certain woman sleeps around, it doesnt mean ppl shld be applauded for talking to her rudely. Yes, she brought it upon herself..but still, everyone deserves to be treated with some dignity.

  7. In my sec school, it was drummed into our heads that respect was reciprocal. Nice post.

  8. Word. 1st respect yourself before anyone else can. So true jare!!


  9. preach it brother!

    Everyone have pretty much nailed respect in many ways. Respect is earned not necessarily given period so unless you deserve it(shown my your action) you are not getting it

  10. @Kitkat: Preaching is what i do best dear...hehehehehe

    @Myne WHitman: Yeah,i remember that one!

    @The Corner Shop: Thanks Adiya!

    @Ms.Yellow Sisi Unspoken: You so get it!

  11. Only a responsible person earns respect, if u're not responsible, you shouldn't expect respect to fall from the sky....not possible ra! ra!

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  13. ol I agree with LadyNgo; sometimes, these men are the girl's play thing :P

    but seriously, you have some good points; one has to respect his/her self to gain some

  14. @Coy~Introvert: You're on point!

    @Abi Tobi: Yeah,sometimes the men are play thing but not in Nigeria.In Nigeria the woman is always the play thing,even when her intention is to 'use' the man.Thanks alot!

  15. where is the thumbs up button? lol
    True talk!

  16. @NikkiSho: Hahahahaha...thanks alot NikkiSho!