Tuesday, May 3, 2011

When love fails,where does friendship go?

I really can't put a finger on where i got that,but i'm almost very certain someone asked me that question some time ago.If i wasn't dreaming nor hallucinating,but was in actual sense asked that question,then i'm certain i couldn't give an answer.I mean,what answer is there to give to a very depressing and scary question?

I've had a very very close friend who happened to be a gurl.As a matter of fact,she was my best friend for a very long time because she was the one who knew thins other people didn't know.We were friends for like 8 to 9 year before we decided to go beyond that.Our relationship lasted for about a year and six months out of that one year were like the best months i've had yet.Life was so very beautiful.Did i regret transforming our friendship into a romantic relationship? NO! Not even for a split second.But before i go into all that,let me let you in into a plain truth.

It is very impossible to have the opposite sex as your best friend.I said it,quote me anywhere! It is just not possible.When you get close to people,you get to find out things others don't know about them.Some are cool,some are not so cool,while others are just plain terrible.But the thing is,you start developing a form of attachment to them that makes you blind to their faults.It is easier for you to get more comfortable with the opposite sex because they are less likely to judge you or get jealous of you.I know you might be tempted to tell me it's not true that you can't actually be friends with the opposite sex.Maybe you're even best friends with the opposite sex and you might want to use that to stick your claim,but the truth still remains,it's not possible.Feelings always start flying.It may take a very long time for this to happen,but it always most certainly happens.Take into cognizance the number of people you know who had the opposite sex as friends and continued being friends without anything more...i bet you can't think of any or at least you can't think of more than one right? Personally,i don't know any successful friendship between people of different sexes.

So,back to the question of where does the friendship go after love fails? Well,the response to that question is relative to what happens after friendship turns to LOVE.If the love continues and blooms,then the friendship blooms with it.But if the love goes sour or goes down the drain,then the friendship goes down the drain with it.Don't mind anyone who says the friendship continues...na heavy lie be that.If there's any form of friendship after that,it's not even going to be half like the friendship you had that turned into love.It's going to be something much less.It's worse when one party is still in love,then friendship wouldn't even work at all...not any form of friendship.So before you dive into love from friendship,think it through.Although personally i'd advice you just jump into it if you're certain you guys are right for each other and you're not just shallow about it...hehehehehe! Ok,don't mind me o,please think it through seriously before you jump into love.Although love is much more sweeter than 'just friends',but some people are better off friends than lovers,make sure it's not so for you before you change the 'level'.Have a nice day people.

11 comments:

  1. True talk bro... once the friendship line is crossed, there's no going back... there's that awkwardness... the pregnant silence!

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  2. The P.E.T Projects-You're feeling me dear!

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  3. Tank u jare. Unless we want to deceive ourselves. I am not saying that you cant be friends with the opposite sex, but best friends? It most times gets very complicated

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  4. Totally agree with the last paragraph, but I still think it is possible to be friends with the opposite sex.

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  5. I'm kinda on the fence about this opposite sex bestfriends thing. I used to say it was definitely possible but unconfirmed stats have shown otherwise...someone [for the most part] catches feelings. I won't say it's impossible sha.

    As far "Making sure"...somethings you never really know until you try. But yes, it should be given great thot.

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  6. I have a male bestie and i still think its possible for a girl to be bestfriend's with a guy without any of them developing feelings. Seriously i cnt even imagine having feelings 4 my bestie. He's like a brother 2 me. And i dnt believe in relationships that start as very close friendships, as pretty and cute as they may seem, i wont want my boyfriend to be sum1 i was bestfriend's with. He'll know me so freakin well, it'll be hard to be romantic or get freaky with him. Kissing and making out with him would be like incest!!,lol.

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  7. HoneyDame-On point dear.

    Myne Whitman-It is possible to be friends with the opposite sex,but certainly not besties.

    Rep One-I was certain it was possible until i was faced with the situation,not once but twice.Now? I don't believe it's possible.

    Kitkat-I knew you'd come with that...hahahahaha
    Like i said on your blog,time will tell.Many people will say they prefer being in a relationship with someone they know very well,i'm one of such people!

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  8. If the love is sour the friendship is dead oh. That's probably why most friends are reluctant to start relationships. It's a huge risk oh- you can loose your bestie over it

    Adiya

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  9. The Corner Shop-On point Adiya!

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  10. i'm with you on this, i think the friendship usually goes sour when one tells the other about his/her feelings like P.E.T Projects said that awkward silence starts creeping in, nd its not cool at all....but a r/ship with bestie of the opp. sex I find it really sweet...

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  11. @Coy~Introvert: Hmmmmmm,even though a lot of us don't seem to believe being besties with the opp. sex is possible.

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