Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Even with friends,there's a time to walk away

Yesterday was such that made me hate being a bachelor.I mean i closed from work and had to got to the market,got stuffs for the food i wanted to prepare and got home.I cooked,even though i was quite tired and almost swearing.Anyways,i finished and couldn't even eat immediately.It was during this periods that i started reminiscing about what someone said "A friend comes to visit you in jail,while a good friend sits with you in the jail sell saying "Mehn we fucked up"".That made sense,i mean a whole lot of sense.A good friend is one that stays with you through thick and thin.He's always there in your best times and even in your worst times.But,there's a time when one should walk out on his friend and damn that good-friend-sticking-with-you-in-your-best-times-and-worst-times ****.

I know you're prolly wondering what this 9ja great is saying.Well,i'm definitely going to be explicit and carry you along,afterall,it's you and me *in Life House's voice*.Back to the topic jare! There are some people who don't deserve meaningful friendships because they themselves are not meaningful.You know what i mean by meaningful's that type that adds value to your life,i mean the symbiotic type.You-gain-i-gain! You see,there are some friendships that are purely worthless.Imagine someone who is void of plans for the future being friends with someone who is equally void of plans for the future,the friendship between the two is going to be simply worthless (but them go match sha).Now imagine someone who doesn't have anything to offer being friends with someone who has alot to offer,the person would be gaining while the other one would be losing.In biology it is called a parasitic relationship.The one who doesn't have anything to offer is a parasite to the other.

However,there are times when you are in a person's life for a reason.Sometimes you romance someone who doesn't have anything to offer just so you could affect the person's life.This could be a very sweet kind of friendship.But,there are some people,like i said earlier,who don't deserve your friendship because the more you try to affect their lives,the more they try to be their old self.For instance,some people are so negative that everything fails in their hands.Being friends with such kind of person could be detrimental to you because some of them are so caught up in their negative world that they may even drag you into it if you're not strong willed enough.Also,sometimes when you're friends with people,initially you may not won't know the kind of person they are until the friendship travels a little into time.You may end up realizing the person doesn't have plans and when you try to affect the person's life to reshape ideas and beliefs,the person might still be 'planless'.At this point,you really should just draw the line,i mean call it quits! If you realize your best friend has changed from what he used to be and you try to get him to revert to his old self to no avail,you really should let it go.I mean,break the friendship.Through thick and thin huh? If you have that in mind,you may end up losing your way.Sometimes you may be in a very wrong path and have a best friend who's also in that path.However,when you do realize the right path and try to drag your friend along and he refuses to follow that right part,you should simple walk away,for your own good.So in all kinds of friendship,there's a time to draw a line,a time to walk away.Personally i have broken up some friendships just because they didn't go in line with where i am going.Have a nice they people and it may just be time to let some so-called friends go.


  1. Yes indeed, there is a time to walk away from friends. You know the saying, friends are usually for seasons or something like that.

  2. Preach on, preacher!! :)
    I always cut pff friends that dont have a positive impact on my life. Whats the point of a friendship that causes more pain than happiness? nothing! :/
    i really hate negative people that never see good in anything. I had a friend like that and now we dnt talk anymore lol.

  3. Honestly oh! It takes wisdom to know when to try to push someone on the right path and when to walk away before he/she drags you down with them!


  4. Spot on!
    Some friends do not understand the 'through thick and thin concept", it all balls down to selfishness sometimes.

    Some friends are just there to drain you emotionally, financially and even spiritually.

    Infact I think those people should be considered acquintances not friends... a friend stick with you and is sometimes closer than a brother!.

  5. @Myne Whitman: That's it!

    @Kitkat: You took the right step cutting that negative friend of your off.

    @The Corner Shop: Truthfully,it takes wisdom not to be dragged down.

    @P.E.T Projects: I feel you.

  6. Great post.

    Just wanted to point out something you mentioned in the beginning of your entry. I hope you will now have a certain kind of sympathy for your future wife who will come home from a looong day at work to come and cook for you.

  7. @Anonymous: It's very unfortunate you didn't live your name.Anyway,with the kind of plan i have,my wife will rarely have a long day at work because she'd be her own boss.I'll make sure i establish a good business for her to manage that'll make her have enough time to do other things.

  8. some friendships are meant to last a life time but most are seasonal.

  9. There sure comes a time even in friendship when you have to walk away especially when you see the relationship isn't going anywhere.I agree with Myne that friends are for a season.

  10. Gosh u so read my mind, I was talking to my friend recently nd I told her I was done with any parasitic r/ship in my life from whoever, male or female, course-mate or school mate. If I'm not gaining from you then I'm on my way to redemption, i truly believe all my friends gain from me so why can't I gain from you..*not healthy*

  11. Ah blogger has swallowed up some of your comments. I was coming to shoot some daggers at you for one comment you made about the future Mrs-9ja-great not working late hours because you'll have some small business for her to manage so she can be home in time to do the things "she needs to do" hissssss (but *hugs* also to soften the effects of the hissing lol).
    Anywho, in regards to friendship- i find in this life you are very fortunate if you have even 5 friends. There are many people that will be temporary friends and even more people that will be temp or lifelong acquaintances. But very few people that will truly be your friend.

  12. I agree with this post and lately i have been shedding non-meaningful friendships.

  13. @Myne Whitman: Hehehehe...i get you.

    @Okeoghene: True talk Okeoghene.

    @Coy~Introvert: E don tey o,good to have you back.Yeah,i agree that the non-healthy friends should go.

    @LadyNgo: My LadyNgo,it really has ben a while i was graced with daggers from you.Future Mrs 9ja great is gonna be very ok with the arrangement,trust me...even if she's going to be you...hehehehehehe

    @Laura: That's the best thing to do.Thanks for stopping by.