Wednesday, April 6, 2011

E is for Emergency!

Ok,before i go into the main aim of this post,i'm gonna tell you a little something you don't know about me.I am very very strict about accepting money from women,i just don't feel it's right.All the gurls i have dated can attest to that fact.Even when i dated gurls who were rich,i never brought up the issue of them giving me money.For instance,my ex's family are quite wealthy and so she has lots of money to throw around.She sometimes suggested giving me money,but i always turned her donw till she got the message and stopped trying.I don't even allow them use their money to do something around me,unless i can't help it,inotherwords i am broke.Once my ex wanted me to come home immediately after i was done with what i went on a trip for,i had spent alot so i couldn't fly.I told her i was gonna come but i'm gonna see her the next day as i'd be on the road almost the whole day,but she refused saying she wanted to see me that same day and so i should fly.I explained why i couldn't and she suggested paying my flight fare.I grumbled and grumble but eventually gave in.I felt very terrible,i mean i was supposed to be the one doing the providing....yes,all in my big head abi? But seriously,that's just me.I have this belief that a man should be the one providing as he was meant to be the head and so i get scared of anything that would make me not provide for my women.So,all this plenty talk leads to the fact that i hate accepting money from women,i'd rather manage without money till i can get mine,call me proud,i frankly don't care,that's just me!

However,the aim of this post is that i have a neighbour,his flat is immediately before mine.When i newly moved into the compound,i alway notice he's always around the house.When i get dressed and i'm going to work,he around,when i get back from work,he's around.What actually got my attention cum concern is that he does the things i know only women do when the men are out to hustle.He cleans the house,washes the childrens clothes (maybe his wife's too,but i've not taken note of that),i'm sure he does the dishes too (but i wouldn't know cos that happens inside his kitchen),he takes care of their little baby.The only thing i was waiting for him to do is tie a wrapper around his waist or chest,that'll make him a complete 'woman'.Ordinarily it isn't my business whether someone does what or not,but this very one doesn't feel right at all and that's why i'm calling an emergency rescue for him.He's healthy,agile,not why the hell isn't he indulging in one form of work or another? His wife is the one that goes out everyday so obviously she's the bread winner of the family.Although not everything is as it seems,but this one is one that is as it seems.

Also,lots of guys date women just because of their money.I know guys who swore they won't date a gurl who's doesn't have money.They said they want a gurl that can buy them stuffs,give them money and the likes.Sincerely,i felt ashamed on their behalves because they clearly were shameless.That coming out of the mouth of men? Tufiakwa! Why do some people think they are men sef? Having a 'tool' doesn't make you a man,it's way more than that for crying out loud.If a gurl is thinking she wants to date you for your money,shouldn't you at least have a little shame and try and protect your money from her rather than try to date her also because of her money? The annoying thing about this whole thing is that it's is a trend now,sadly.Guys don't even see anything wrong in it,it's now considered normal and it's frigging annoying.Anyways,call me old fashion,but i'm gonna remain my big head self and make the money to spend on them gurls not looking forward to having them spend on me,God forbid! So,here's an emergency call for rescue of half men,we need a doctor for them.Have a nice day my people.


  1. lol i agree that its nice for the guys to do the spending..hehe
    but i dnt mind spending my money on a guy from time to time. its not a big deal. it wont make me feel he's less of a man or anything.. as long as i know he also spends his money on me lol.

  2. The issue is girls wanting to pay for stuff is new and i guess i can link it to this "WOMEN EMPOWERMENT" thing where they want gender equality.Gone are the days when man take women for granted just because they are bride winners,these days things have changed ALOT BRO..we have More Career women and in some cases girls from rich homes,i know some guys are just dumb/lazy and would go so low to date a girl coz shes got MULLA just to be comfortable.For every Action there is always an equal and opposite reaction Bro and i guess your neighbor is a typical example..maybe u should try get closer and find out whats wrong b4 we put him on the chopping board coz i have only heard of things like this but not seen any.

  3. Erm kitkat..sometimes when U ladies spend on us guys,we feel alil bit intimidated coz U doing our job..

  4. Kitkat-I'm actually ok with my gurl spending on me in the apsect of gifts,but not offering to pay for stuffs or offering me money.

    DIDI-Well said me bro,well said.

  5. erm sorry i see nothing wrong in oga staying in d house o. as long as someone is bringing in the bacon and the other decides to stay at home, i see nothing wrong there o if both parties are comfy with it. As a disguised feminist :) i cant say i want women empowerment and not be willing to bring home d bacon and pay for stuff (traditionally considered men's roles) while the man assumes traditionally feminized roles. However, personally i say split the housework, child care and money making 50-50. As for guys hu date girls for their money and for the girls hu date men for their money, you run the risk of being treated less than u should because you depend on someone financially but if the money makes up for that for you then i guess to each his/her own :)

  6. hmmm.... is he a half man because he does house work? or because he doesnt have a job outside the home? cos child bearing and home keeping is a job that women have been doing for decacdes without pay. as long as both parties are contributing to the family, there is no problem.

    with that being said, i hate house work. i want my husband and i to be rich so we can have domestic workers to do the cooking, cleaning, washing so we can enjoy our marriage.


  7. I honestly can't handle that, i don't mind offering to split bills among my partner but honestly, my attraction to a man is his masculinity, where i become the man, it is almost certain that i would loose my feminity towards him.
    Nonetheless,there is nothing wrong if a a couple decides to switch roles and re comfortable with it. but i pray its never my portion

  8. Just as woman are evolving, men are evolving too...altho there is no way i would want my man at home while i go out and bring home the 'bacon'.
    Kudos to the men that can handle it...most men can't.

    As for the ones purposely looking out for women to spend on them- what are they, gigolos?? That's Shameful, IMO

  9. I'm sure no woman wants a guy that cannot provide most of the time. I don't mind spending, but only sometimes sha :p


  10. Olori-I bet you won't say that is you have a husband who is lazy.You may sound like this now cos you're not in such situation,but i assure you your view would change on that if you have a lazy man for a husband.Quick question though,if you don't mind bring the bacon,why do you prefer 50-50 split?

    Chizy K-Why are you saying it is not your portion to switch roles if nothing is bad in it?

    Anonymous-Now that is more like it,it is not in your place to be the one bringing the money.

    The Corner Shop-I'm glad you said sometimes,it is a sin for the man to allow you spend regularly.

  11. From the outside looking can you really know the true reason why things are the way they are in that family? Besides, i see nothing wrong with the man helping around the house either because he is between jobs, he chose to be a stay at home dad or he's just been a good husband. Let them do what works for them, and you do what works for you. You guys need to leave those "prescribed" gender roles somewhere else cos times are changing.

    As for not letting a chic spend on you, that's totally fine. I dated a guy a while ago who 9 times out of 10 let me pay for everything. Initially, it wasn't a big deal, after a while though it was obvious i was just a cash cow and i was like this is why i like my Naija men, they have pride. This one did not have an sense of pride at all. It was disgusting and a good learning experience. Now, even if i have more money than the guy, i fall back and let him pay.

  12. Madame Sting-There's nothing wrong with the man helping around the house,but there definitely is something wrong in the man doing the house chores regularly.There actually are gender roles me dear,else why would you be complaining about the guy you dated who let you do 90% of the spending.Some Nigerian men have pride and i definitely am one of them.Thanks for stopping by though.

  13. Keyword: 90% of the spending. That's a little too much. There are gender roles of course, but it doesn't mean i subscribe to them or even agree with them for that matter.

    What exactly is wrong with him doing the house chores regularly? I'm curious? If the wife works and he's home most of the time, i see nothing wrong with that o. I know naija society frowns on that, i'm not going to pretend like i'm not aware of that, but i think he's a good man who is helping his young family out. You could borrow a leaf from his book ;)

  14. #Cosign kitkat
    however, sometimes there are exceptions - if d guy's temporarily out of employment, however, he must be seen as industrous!

  15. Madame Sting-I'm glad you agree 90% is too much and i think you're one of the few who do not subscribe to gender roles.There's nothing wrong in him doing the house chores regularly if he has a job,or working at home and doesn't see anything wrong with it.

    P.E.T Project-On point! Even if he's out of employment,he shouldn't sit around without making effort to get a new job.

  16. I like your old fashioned head.
    that said, i dont mind spending on a guy, gifts and paying for stuff. but giving cash gifts may be somehow except he actually needs a specific amount for a specific project. if such a need arise i would love him to accept the money and fix whatever it is and not act all macho. if he insist he can refund it or convert it into a gift as payback so his ego doesnt deflate.

    your neighbour maybe in between jobs.... if he is not... he is def not my kind.

  17. If he needs it for a specific project,then it's understandable,it means he's trying to make something of himself.Would you be happy if he sits around waiting on your salary? I guess not!