I'm almost sure your parents told you selfishness was bad and a terrible thing while you were growing up.Well,they told you that because at that time,that's exactly what you should know.I mean,that was what you should know because you were young didn't exactly have a good sense of judgment.However,your parents knew that as you grow older,you'd get to know that selfishness isn't always a bad thing.If you don't understand this,then the next time you're with either of your parents,tell them you don't want to be their kid anymore because you just saw a couple who are childless and you want to be their adopted child...You go see how your mama go shout or how your papa go look you like say you don dey do drugs.
Selfishness isn't always a bad thing,sadly i realized quite late and missed a few things.For instance,i had someone i was madly in love with but didn't bother letting her know about it because i didn't want to spoil her relationship at that time (annoyingly enough she was equally in love with me but was scared of being rejected).I did that simply because i didn't want to be selfish.I wanted her to be happy even though it meant me dying in silence.Meanwhile if i had been just a little bit selfish,i'd have let her know about my feelings and invariable get to know about hers.Although we ended up dating after like 7 years,but we missed a good number of times we'd have spent together.My point is this,selfishness is helpful sometimes and shouldn't be seen as a bad thing.But that doesn't mean it should be a regular or incessant thing.It should be timely,as other things.Remember the saying "There's time for everything",well,selfishness has it's time too.
Furthermore,we all have different levels of selfishness in us,doubting? I'm gonna break that down for you to understand.Do you always do something without first considering well WIIFM (What's In It For Me)? Do you realize you are happy when you make people happy? Now tell me how you think you'll feel if you give a very good gift to or do something for someone that hates you and would still hate you,you think you'd feel happy? Why do you think forgiveness is hard? The answer is SELFISHNESS! We love ourselves very much,trust me when i say that.Even though we do things to hurt ourselves,we still love ourselves very much.You hear people say they hate themselves,but yet the won't just commit suicide and reduce the number of people on earth...hehehehehe! You hear people say they do stuff and don't care if they get hurt,truth is they derive pleasure,satisfaction or excitement from such stuff.Even the people who are considered selfless are people who derive a measure of gain from their supposed selflessness.The next time you do something and consider yourself selfless,analyze your feelings at that particular time,i'm sure you'll think a little less about being selfless.
Okay,lemme take this to the love angle (my favorite part *big grin*).You hear gurls (mostly) say stuffs like "Oooohh he's such a great guy,loving,caring and selfless".Yeah right! Loving,yes...Caring,yes...Great,yes...Selfless? Not entirely! He does all those stuff for you because when he sees you happy,he in turn gets very happy.The way you feel and react when he loves you has a resultant effect on him and that is the reason why he continues.Why do you think great guys suddenly change sometimes? Simple,they no longer derive that pleasure they usually derive.Breakups are initiated by selfishness! If you think say na lie,oya ask yourself why you went through with that breakup that you initiated.Our actions are guided by imperceptible selfishness.But the conspicuous form of selfishness is the one that requires timing.Do have a very nice day!